Theater of the Bizarre

I missed Barry Bonds' 756th home run last night. I was washing dishes. Didn't have the game on the radio in the kitchen for some reason. But it's OK. I had replays.

In 1998, I missed McGwire's 62nd because I was taking out the trash. Not sure why I picked that exact moment to take a walk to the dumpster. Maybe it was foreshadowing the events of the next decade. I was kind of upset about missing history at the time, but I moved on.

In retrospect, these are probably the two biggest moments in sports of my lifetime. Personally, the '97 Stanley Cup finals was more important, and the '87 division race where the Tigers came from behind and won that final game 1-0 (on a masterful complete game six-hitter by Frank Tanana) to avoid the one game playoff with the Jays - that was probably more important to me. But on a grand American scale, 62 and 756 were monumental. Nothing in sports is bigger or more powerful than the home run records. And today, they feel dirty and unloved; definitely not sacred.

It doesn't matter if Hank Aaron stayed home, or if Bud Selig wasn't there. The presence of either, or both of them, wouldn't have made the night, or the record, any more legitimate. Bud Selig has had an absolutely horrific tenure as commissioner of MLB, and this was just another butt in the ashtray. Arms raised upward, Bonds stood and watched as the ball went out, and then pointed skyward as he gleefully (I guess) stomped on home plate. Reggie-esque.

Andy Van Slyke. Bobby Bonilla. Will Clark. Matt Williams. Jeff Kent. These are the guys Bonds hit before or after for most of his career, and probably owes most of his home runs to. Pretty good players in their own right. All but one are retired now, and none were at the game. To be fair, they are all in baseball, so we can assume they all had other responsibilities. The exception is renowned baseball genius Bonilla, who was at home in Connecticut, where watching the home run was "very exciting."

After the 2004 Presidential elections, a Washington Post columnist noted that this was the first election in history where people didn't remove signs and bumper stickers for either Bush or Kerry, almost not acknowledging that an election had taken place. Will this be the pattern baseball will follow? An interesting question, since Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's record legitimately and Ruth is still revered by many as the greatest slugger of all time. I think it's weird to see Bonds' name on top of the career home runs list, but it's there and it isn't going away. Baseball's last gasp of a chance to preserve the record for Hammerin' Hank is gone this morning. Many thought this day would never come. In the words of the illustrious Emeril, BAM!
By the way, the asterisk just means he's an active player. Smirk.

The record falling doesn't bother me. Strangely, the record falling to someone suspected of steroid use doesn't even bother me that much. It's Bonds' personality that seals the deal for me. When Aaron broke the record, it was a great day for BASEBALL. I would encourage everyone to read the chapter on the 1974 season in Roger Angell's Five Seasons, where Aaron's record is detailed in words from memories just weeks old. Listen to the call by Vin Scully. This was a profound social moment and a great sporting moment. From that, we went to a moment where nobody cared about the race of the athlete, or what he'd been through, or even the record he broke. Just Barry Bonds hitting another home run, presumably for Barry Bonds.