Words

Sometimes I find myself really bitter about things. Job-related things, mostly. Even though I’m so close to the US political scene, it doesn’t fire me up very often. But back to the bitterness. I’ve never been able to figure this out. I like doing things my way, and I guess that’s ultimately what it boils down to. I had to ask for guidance this morning from a superior, and it was very uncomfortable, because I don’t do that very frequently. I just do stuff. If there are problems, I’ll worry about that later. And there are rarely problems. But some people don’t care about that.

So I took notes all morning at this meeting. I’m not one to say that work is beneath me, but I will speak up if a task is pointless altogether. This was pointless, and it irritated me to get the evil eye from the one mandating the note-taking. This is after a mini freakout about a lack of badges, which I had followed up on and was not my fault. So as you can see, our office is operating like a Hill office. Which is not a good thing. I confess that I can be a pain. But if I am allowed to do my work with minimal interference, I am thrilled. I will be productive. But meddle and I become worthless. I start to doubt myself, I work more slowly, and I make mistakes. Lots of them.

Let’s be clear here: pressure is not the issue. I am self-admittedly GREAT under pressure. It’s when you throw five different versions of a document at me, all with changes, and hover over me waiting for the new version that I have a hard time. And this is happening a lot. When I am not treated as an equal, it also upsets me. Yes, I am young. Yes, I use different words in professional settings than others. Yes, I take big risks at work. None of these things make me an idiot. I have spent a lot of time honing my skills and abilities, too much to work to serve others and not get any credit.

So to you, my four readers, thanks for reading this and/or hitting the back button rapidly.