And On this Last day of October...

To what do we owe this honor? It's the first post in nearly a month, you may say. Yep. I know. There's a lot to say. Let's go:

1. Michigan - Michigan State: to all you Ohioans who think you're UM's #1 rival, au contraire. I know that it's the 100th UM-MSU game, but nothing is bigger. ESPN wants you to think it's that final game, people around the country think it's OSU, but this is huge. My elementary school principal had 3 feet worth of maize and blue confetti poured in his office during UM-MSU week one year. I spit on him and yelled "State sucks!" out the bus window. I got in a lot of trouble for that one. But it's huge. Check out the Detroit Free Press' special section this week: A State of Rivalry

2. NHL Network: it's on. It appeared sometime very early yesterday morning, and man, is it great. "On the Fly," which has been on Versus for a while, but not in this format, is spectacular. Imagine SportsCenter covering hockey for an hour, letting the local TV announcers' calls describe the highlights, showing more than goals and the obligatory great save, and actually understanding and appreciating the history of the game. It's great. Tonight's Kings-Blue Jackets game at 10:30 Eastern will be their first true coverage of a game. It's probably just going to be the feed from Prime Ticket, but that's good enough for me! The NHL's site for NHL Network isn't up yet, but the Oct/Nov schedule is here. Call your local TV provider and get the hookup.

3. Burma: yes, the furor has died down. But it shouldn't. This situation is not going away. Sanctions are garbage. The US trades almost nothing with Burma. Southeast Asian countries who don't have a lot of economic options trade with them. Extractive industries are big there. Try to stop the trade in cut-rate minerals between Burma and Vietnam. It won't happen. I'm not saying we should invade, but if we want to show opposition to that government and their treatment of the public there, someone needs to intervene. Japan has long wanted to increase its military status on the world stage; a peacekeeping mission to Burma might be just what they need.

4. The fires: I'm going to San Diego tomorrow. I've heard you can't even smell smoke downtown. We'll see. I'm not nervous, just skeptical. This was handled so well by the local and federal authorities that it just makes it sadder that all the Katrina evacuees and the people who were left behind drew such a short straw.

Happy Halloween!

Quick takes - NHL free agent mayhem

- First and foremost, let me express my joy that my dislike for Todd Bertuzzi can come back to full strength now. I know the Wings have a long history of rental players, but what a waste.

- Robert Lang is no longer a Wing. His 14 goals and 19 assists will fit in nicely with the rest of that dynamic Blackhawks lineup.

- And completing the trifecta of Red Wings losses, Matthieu Schneider would like to be closer to his home, where he lived when he played for the Kings and actually performed like a top-3 defenseman.

- Jiri Hudler may go play in Russia. I would not approve of that; he has the potential to be a GREAT two-way forward.

Around the rest of the league, it turns out Paul Kariya is just greedy after all. Just a few seasons removed from his altruistic, Karl Malone-esque pay cut to try to win a Cup with Colorado, he goes to tha STL for a 2-year, $18m deal.

And were Ryan Smyth's tears fake? There's suddenly a lot of bitterness around this "good guy." He's made some bad moves. It wasn't all management. Have fun with your 7 seed in the West this year, guys.

The poor Sabres' dynasty is over before it started. I'm unclear as to why anyone would leave a team poised to be a force in the East for the next several years, but I never won a Little League World Series, either.

MR.BRIERE GOES TO PHILLY, a one-act play

Flyers management: Hi Daniel. Welcome to Philadelphia.
Daniel Briere: Hi, I'm excited to be here to try to turn around this once-proud franchise.
FM: Heh. That's great. There are a couple things we need to take care of right away...
DB: Sure! Whatever you need!
FM: These will be your skates. They're made of lead. We don't want anybody on our team outskating the opposition. That's not the Flyer way.
DB: Um, OK. I guess I can deal with that. I'm a sniper. I can get to the wing and hang out there.
FM: Yeah. About that. We don't really go for that kind of thing here. Too exciting. We don't want anyone falling out of their seat and dropping their $8 Miller Lite. The rink guys are busy grooving the ice in the slot right now so you can try it out. It's going to be tough for you to turn, but I think you can tough it out.
DB: (silence)
FM (whispers to other FM): He's built like Manute Bol. You're sure this is the right guy?

Good move, Daniel. I won't get into Chris Drury's stupidity any further than to say that the Rangers should provide another April flameout.

Follow the disloyalty here

Quick takes

You may have noticed that they're haven't been any posts lately. Or maybe you haven't noticed. I'm not exactly raking in the hits. Part of the reason for this (the lack of posts, not the lack of hits) is that I don't want to comment on a lot of stuff. I refer to the entire United States outside the Capital Beltway as "The Real America." "Real Americans" inhabit TRA. Real Americans have different interests and priorities than those of us not in TRA. For instance, there are other news stories besides immigration, Paris Hilton, and Iraq. So usually, I wouldn't touch this stuff. But in an attempt to be a Real American by doing something other than watching Washington Journal (sorry, the C-Span WJ page is not functioning) on Saturday morning, I offer you Tha Suburban Original's Quick Takes, Volume 1, Number 1. Perhaps this will become a regular feature. If I can remember to do it. I'll increase my curcumin consumption, and perhaps that will help.

1. The 2008 Presidential campaign - if anyone has made up their mind as to who they're voting for, I am concerned for you. If you've TRIED to make up your mind already, I am concerned for you. I would feel a lot better about the campaign if Clinton, Obama, Hunter, Brownback, et al were on the floor voting. You know, doing the job that American taxpayers are putting money in their pockets for.

2. Paris Hilton - She's famous because she's the kid of a hotel magnate and had a homemade porn tape leaked online. That makes her like a half-step above Dustin Diamond. Yeah, I went there.

3. Kobayashi's inability to compete in the hot dog eating contest - I haven't made a lot of anti-New York rants on this site. I will atempt to stay on focus here. But does anyone outside the New York area actually like Nathan's hot dogs? They're horrible. That "special taste" they have is just gross. They always look like they've been fried in something, and I think it's also pretentious that they manufacture their own mustard. It is my humble opinion that there is no finer meat than Koegel's and no reason to purchase any mustard other than Plochman's. I will note, however, that both are extremely difficult to find on the East Coast, so I have learned to love Esskay Oriole Dogs (or "franks," I guess) and have learned to tolerate Gulden's.

4. The Dick Cheney executive privilege thing - I'm going to be honest, I have never cared about Dick Cheney. Many may find this ironic, since I'm sitting about four blocks from his office right now. However, the Washington Post has done a four-part series this week chronicling his tenure as VP and it has been mostly fascinating. I urge all of you in TRA and beyond to read it. While I can't say it's made me care about Cheney, I do agree with someone who commented to me the other day that it is a must-read for political science students, particularly those studying the Executive branch.

5. Iraq - I am Iraq-ed out. Can I be the only person who feels this way? Seriously?

I have nothing else right now. Hopefully this will emerge and I can rant on other stuff in this format. Curcumin. Right.